The heaviness of writing

Some days, when lies overwhelm, when yet another person produces yet another musical that yet again regurgitates the Scholl-centric legend, it can be hard to keep going. Why should I bother, when people who cut and paste fairy tales make big money off their shallow work?

And then I stumble upon journal entries from days writing White Rose History, Volumes 1 and 2. And I remember. And in remembering, I think about the joy “my” White Rose families expressed when those histories were released, how happy they were that THEIR story, the WHOLE story, was finally being told. Not hidden behind Inge’s dark shadow.

Sharing a few of those journal entries here. If you’re a writer dealing with hard topics, take heart. The downs do have their ups. It just takes looking at the long game.

March 15, 2001

Not a writing week! Stephen King may say that every writer should write ten pages a day, but odds are, he doesn’t have to deal with car repairs and telephone people. Only one-and-a-half pages this week. For the whole week. Sometimes you just have to be thankful for what you do get done and quit obsessing over the work you wanted to do.

March 22, 2001

Early this week, I found myself struggling. I would look at the Otl Aicher book that has very little left to translate and think I could not bear to write another word. I finally got out some Mark Twain I had not read in years. In the ensuing laughter, I knew that every once in a while, when you deal with such a dark subject, you simply have to take a break and step completely away without feeling guilty.

I have managed to do exactly that. Working on a few short, bright, airy pieces, nothing more than happy fluff. Nothing serious, or long.

Maybe in a week or two, I can return to that dark place that does hold such light, a little refreshed and ready to tackle it head-on.

March 29, 2001

Smiles enough, and laughter the last seven days. Putting aside White Rose has been like opening the windows on a gorgeous spring day, letting in the fresh air. Mark Twain has that effect on you. I’ve simply got to finish White Rose, so I can go back to my fiction writing — Joanie and Sid, Persephone, TZ and the crazies.

I’ve practiced writing in different voices this week. Nothing publishable. In fact, I need to shred anything that made it to the printer. It is simply a delicious exercise, thinking out loud from another point of view.

Sometimes we’ve got to back away from things that normally consume our lives and stand in the sunshine a while. No better way to clear out cobwebs hidden by the dark.

This I will do!

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Our White Rose histories, then in progress, have been available since 2002. To order digital version of White Rose History, Volume I: Coming Together (January 1933-April 30, 1942), click here. To order digital version of White Rose History, Volume II, click here. WRH1 is © 2002, 2003, 2007 by Denise Elaine Heap. WRH2 is © 2002, 2007 by Denise Elaine Heap.

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